Three Times A Lady
by HollyRose31523
Summary: Severus is annoyed. This is not the quiet Saturday that he had hoped for and Lupin meddling into his private correspondence doesn't help matters at all - or could Lupin's strange advice for once be useful? This is the sequel to "Flying Dream 143" and "It Takes Two", set in 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'.


Disclaimer:  
I don't own the Harry Potter characters, especially not Severus Snape (no matter how much I wish I did). I just like having them run around in my sometimes twisted little world.

* * *

 **Three Times A Lady**

The smell of ink filled Severus nostrils. Normally ink didn't smell so strong, at least if one didn't press one's nose against written parchment. Slowly Severus opened his eyes and blinked a few times to see clearly and when the sight had finally sunken in he jerked up in shock.  
His whole desk was soaked with Slytherin green ink and everything on it was soaked as well: the books, the parchments, even the box with Scottish Shortbread – everything.  
Severus cursed under his breath and stood – too quickly, apparently, for instantly his head felt dizzy. His vision blurred as the furniture in his office began to dance a most curious dance. It was the last Severus noticed before he collapsed to the floor and hit his head hard on the edge of the table.  
Again he spat out a curse, this time a detention worthy one, and held his head where he had bumped it. He could already feel a bruise developing under his fingers and to his knowledge he had run out of Bruisewort balm to prevent the lump from growing to the size of a goose egg.  
Clumsily, Severus struggled to his feet, his hand still pressed to his head and staggered into the bathroom to consider the damage, but his reflection nearly made him collapse again: The entire left side of his face was green. Apparently he had spent the night in a puddle of ink. No wonder why he had smelled the ink so strongly when he had woken up.  
The sudden sound of the Clock Tower Bell made Severus flinch. To his dismay it stroke nine times, which meant that he was awfully late for breakfast. The good rolls might be gone already and the slightly less but still decent ones would be also gone if he didn't hurry!  
As quickly as possible Severus began scrubbing off the ink from his skin and for once he admonished himself for putting a charm on this special Slytherin green ink that made it irremovable by spells. In consequence that meant that everything on his desk that had been permanently soiled by it was ruined forever. He had tried to be clever when he performed that charm and now it got the better of him.  
How would he be able to admit to the third year Gryffindors that they had to do their essays again? On the other hand, the third year Gryffindor had been very annoying lately. They have taken a fancy to Lupin, the new Defence Against The Dark Arts Teacher, and when Severus remembered Longbottom's boggart, which had become the joke of the month, he felt his blood beginning to boil inside. He could only imagine how they had all laughed at him and suddenly the idea of giving them extra homework sounded like sweet music to his ears.  
It took Severus almost half an hour to get rid of the green colour on his cheek and by that time the bruise on his head had developed into a huge lump.  
Severus frowned. How could he show up like this in the Great Hall for breakfast? Fortunately it was a Saturday so he didn't have classes and since the bruise did not bleed, he decided to cover the lump with some strands of his hair and just pretend it wasn't there at all. No one would notice. No one ever looked at him closely and by tonight he would have made new Bruisewort Balm, which should get rid of the lump until Monday morning.  
One last time Severus checked his face if there were any spots of green ink left and when he found none, he finally left the bathroom.  
In his sitting room he glanced at the long case clock which showed that it was twenty past nine. If he still wanted breakfast he really had to hurry now, so Severus grabbed his wand from his desk with two fingers and wiped it clean with Granger's essay before he pocketed it.  
"I'm off," he shouted loudly and waited a moment to perceive the familiar 'hoo' as a reply, but everything stayed quiet.  
Severus listened carefully. Had ink gotten into his ear, so he couldn't hear properly?  
"I said, I'm off," he called again, but when he still didn't receive an answer he went into his bedroom and looked around.  
The perch next to his bed was deserted. His black barn owl, his companion for over two years, was not sitting there.  
Severus frowned. This was the third morning in a row that the bird had not returned home to him. It was curious. Normally, the owl wouldn't part with him for the world and now it tended to go astray. It bugged Severus, but what made him even angrier was that he actually cared.  
Pursing his lips, Severus walked out of his bedroom, slamming the door behind him to express his anger and went into the Great Hall for breakfast.

Like on every normal Saturday the Great Hall was not even half filled, not at that time at least. Most students liked to sleep in and Severus was glad about it. A little peace and quiet in the morning was all he wanted after the hell of the week he had had and the little accident didn't make things better.  
"Oh, my, Severus," Dumbledore said when Severus tried to walk past him quickly. "What have you done to yourself?"  
"I have no idea what you mean," Severus replied, although he knew that he couldn't fob off Dumbledore with such a lame excuse.  
Indeed …  
"Now, wait a second," Dumbledore demanded, grabbing the sleeve of Severus' robes, which nearly made Severus trip.  
"Unhand me," he growled, but naturally Dumbledore wouldn't dream of it.  
"Look at me, Severus," Dumbledore said, softly, and slowly Severus turned.  
"I am hungry," he said, evasively. "So will you please let go off me already?"  
"Since when are you so keen on having breakfast?" Dumbledore said with a chuckle.  
"Since we have cinnamon rolls on Saturdays," Severus replied.  
"We always had cinnamon rolls on Saturdays," Dumbledore explained. "You just never noticed, because you either were too late for them or didn't show up at all."  
"Big mistake," Severus said, sarcastically. "Big. Huge, actually. Now will you please let me sit down?"  
"First you'll have to tell me how you managed to get that lump on your head."  
Severus inhaled deeply.  
"I had a small disagreement with my desk this morning," he explained evasively.  
"Disagreement?"  
Severus sighed.  
"I got dizzy when I got up and bumped my head on my desk when I fell," he explained, reluctantly.  
"So, basically you fainted," Dumbledore stated the obvious.  
Severus took a deep breath.  
"Well, if you insist on putting it like that," he replied. "Yes, I fainted."  
Dumbledore frowned.  
"Have you spent the whole night working again?" he asked.  
"I might have," Severus mumbled.  
"So you fell asleep on your desk."  
"Unfortunately."  
"Is that why the left side of your face is green?"  
"Is it?" Severus gasped. "I thought I got it all off!"  
"I'm afraid not entirely."  
Severus grimaced.  
"Ah, don't worry," Dumbledore said, soothingly. "No one will notice."  
"Hopefully not," Severus answered and ripped his sleeve out of Dumbledore's grasp, then he walked to his seat and sat down.  
He had just helped himself to two cinnamon rolls and a mug of steaming hot coffee, when he heard the back door open. He sighed. It could only be Lupin. He was the only teacher still missing and he didn't look up when Lupin slid into his seat next to Severus.  
"Good morning, Severus," Lupin greeted him, kindly.  
Severus just nodded, pretending to have his mouth full and to his surprise Lupin didn't comment on that. Quietly, they had breakfast without speaking a word, but when suddenly Severus' owl landed on the table, missing the butter only by an inch, Lupin flinched.  
"What's that?"  
"My owl," Severus replied, curtly.  
"*Your* owl?"  
"Yes, my owl."  
"I didn't know you own an owl, Severus."  
"Firstly, I don't own it, Lupin," Severus replied, coldly. "It chose to live with me, surprise, surprise, and I didn't object and secondly, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."  
"Too true," Lupin said, mildly, spreading some butter on a piece of bread. "You never bothered to tell me."  
"You never bothered to ask."  
Lupin chuckled.  
"Would you have told me if I had asked?"  
Severus didn't answer. Lupin certainly had a point. Severus had rather bitten off his tongue than confiding into Lupin or any of his friends and Lupin knew that, but it didn't stop him from trying.  
"So …" Lupin continued after a long pause. "Who is writing to you, then?"  
"What?"  
Severus stared at Lupin, who nodded at the owl, and then he saw that the owl was holding a letter in its beak. Quickly, Severus snatched the letter and stuffed it into his pocket, but from the corner of his eye he could see Lupin smirk.  
"You don't want to read it?"  
"No," Severus answered.  
Lupin pursed his lips.  
"Any particular reason why?"  
"None of your business, Lupin," Severus snapped.  
"Alright," Lupin accepted the snide remark. "May I feed your owl a bun?"  
"If you must …"  
With a smile Lupin took a raisin bun from the basket and plucked it into small pieces that he put on his plate.  
"There you go," Lupin said friendly as he offered the plate to the bird.  
Hungrily, the owl dug in, not before giving Severus an angry glare, which Severus chose to ignore. He was still annoyed about the bird's constant absence lately, but he wouldn't tell Lupin about it.  
"Beautiful animal," Lupin praised, tickling the owl's head. "What's its name?"  
Name? Severus suddenly realized that he had never bothered naming his pet. It has always been 'the owl' or 'the bird', nothing more.  
"It doesn't have a name," Severus admitted.  
"Why not?" Lupin asked, astonished. "Has it never crossed your mind to personalize your pet?"  
"No, not really."  
Lupin nodded, thoughtfully.  
"I should have known …"  
"What are you mumbling to yourself?"  
"Oh, nothing that would concern you, Severus."  
Severus looked at Lupin for a moment, then abruptly he stood.  
"You're right," he agreed. "Nothing you possibly have to say concerns me. In fact, you don't concern me."  
"Then why are you talking to me?"  
Severus scoffed.  
"I'm not," he established. "I'm leaving."  
"No, wait," Lupin said, quickly wiping his mouth on a napkin, as he stood as well.  
"Keep your seat," Severus snapped. "I am not talking to you."  
"But I have a problem that I wanted to discuss with you."  
"Not interested," Severus replied with a shrug. "Ask someone else."  
Lupin pursed his lips.  
"I can't …" he said quietly. "It's about … you know."  
Severus smirked.  
"Not really *my* problem, is it?" he sneered.  
"Well, it could turn into your problem come next full moon," Lupin added for consideration, but Severus just snorted.  
"Oh, don't worry, Lupin," he said smoothly. "I have a gun and a couple of silver bullets and guess what? I'm not afraid to use my equipment."  
Lupin paled.  
"You certainly cannot mean that," he whispered, positively shocked.  
"What do you want to wager?" Severus asked.  
"Seriously, Severus," Lupin said, nervously. "I have a problem and only you can help me, so I thought …"  
"Well, think again, Lupin!" Severus interrupted. "If you have got a problem I suggest you better go to Dumbledore and weep into his cloak, but leave me alone!"  
He didn't wait for Lupin to respond, but turned on his heel and strode out of the Great Hall.

Angrily, Severus slammed the door to his sitting room shut. Why did every single Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher want something of him at some point? He could recall Quirrell approaching him two years ago with some silly stuff, but it had been nothing of importance otherwise Severus would still remember what it was. And last year it was Lockhart, asking him to review his new book 'Who Am I?', a book he had actually published, even though he had lost his memory, and curiously enough under the same title – but with a completely different content, obviously. And apparently now it was Lupin's turn. Couldn't Dumbledore just for once hire a normal person to do the Defence Against the Dark Arts job? Someone with skill? Someone with integrity? Someone … like him? Why did it have to be people with personal problems? He didn't have personal problems! He was fine! He had his life in order, all ducks in a row, no one who would weigh him down! Except …  
Sighing, Severus reached into his pocket and retrieved the letter. "Professor S. Snape" it said on the envelope, written in charcoal coloured ink and a small circle functioning as dot behind the letter of his first name. Shaking his head Severus threw the letter on the heap of other letters from the same sender, which was already sitting on his desk, with no intention of reading it. Why should he? He had read all the ones before. He knew perfectly well what this one would say: The same the other letters did.  
Gingerly, Severus picked up the whole bunch and thumbed through them. They were a lot – well over twenty – and on a whim he re-read the letters, carefully.

 _Saturday, June 19_  
 _Finally, I graduated. Let's drink to that, shall we?_

 _Saturday, June 26_  
 _I did brilliantly in my exams – since you are not asking. Let's meet in the Hog's Head for drinks and I'll tell you all about it!_

 _Saturday, July 3_  
 _I am going on a holiday to Wiltshire next week. I hear it's a great county. Want to come with me? There is still room in the cottage …_

 _Saturday, July 10_  
 _Greetings from Wiltshire, county of the White Horse! Stonehenge rocks! Come visit. You could stay in the local pub if you want. Drinks here are great._

 _Saturday, July 17_  
 _Got drunk last night in the local pub. This guy I met asked me out. He looked a bit like you. I guess that's why I agreed. He is older than you, but still a good kisser. Nevertheless I imagine you kiss sooo much better! Why don't you let me find out?_  
 _Memo to me: I hope I remember not to send this letter!_

 _Saturday, July 24_  
 _I'm back from my holiday in Wiltshire. It was lovely. Meet me for a drink and I'll show you the pictures I took!_

 _Saturday, July 31_  
 _Guess what! I got a job in the apothecary in Hogsmeade on short notice, starting on Monday! We should celebrate today! Come to the Hog's Head! I hate to drink alone!_

 _Saturday, August 7_  
 _My first work week was exhausting! I so need a drink. Want one too?_

 _Saturday, August 14_  
 _I am beginning to like my job. I owe my knowledge all to you. Allow me to thank you by accepting my invitation for a drink._

 _Saturday, August 21_  
 _My boss, the apothecary owner, is thinking about his retirement. (I don't blame him – he is 89 years old (but still good looking)). He wants me to run the apothecary in his stead. I have to think about that option and I need a second opinion – your opinion. Meet me for a drink?_

 _Saturday, August 28_  
 _Guess what! I accepted! The apothecary is mine now. Can you believe it? I own an apothecary! Meet me for a drink to celebrate my good fortune._

 _Saturday, September 4_  
 _New term has started. You might need some potions ingredients. Check out my apothecary. I'll cut you a great deal. Or meet me for a drink …_

 _Saturday, September 11_  
 _I am sad. I miss Hogwarts. And you. Will you meet me for a drink? I need to see your face._

 _Saturday, September 18_  
 _It's my birthday today. I am having a party at the Hog's Head. Please come. Your presence would be my greatest present. PS: The drinks are free!_

 _Saturday, September 25_  
 _I have been 20 for a week now and I am already feeling old. I could use a drink to drown my sorrow. Care to keep me company?_

 _Saturday, October 2_  
 _Autumn has arrived. I am getting depressed. If you feel the same, join me for drinks._

 _Saturday, October 9_  
 _I think I saw you yesterday in Hogsmeade. Why didn't you stop by? Your sweet owl certainly does. He seems to like my apothecary and I dare say we have become friends. He wouldn't tell me his name, though, but I have started to call him Aragorn, which he seems to like. Why don't you visit me, too, once in a while? I usually close my apothecary at 6. Come. We could have a nice little chat and drinks!_

 _Saturday, October 16_  
 _Business is thriving. I am totally snowed under – not literally. Still have time for drinks in the evening. Could use company. Care to join me?_

 _Saturday, October 23_  
 _I am making a fortune currently. People are getting crazy since it is Halloween next week. I'd like to spend part of my fortune on drinks with you. Interested?_

 _Saturday, October 30_  
 _Boo! Tomorrow is Halloween and there is a great party in the Hog's Head with an open bar. Feeling spooky? Want to come?_

 _Saturday, November 6_  
 _I am beginning to feel stupid, writing to you. Why can't we talk in person? Drinks tonight? Hog's Head? Please, come._

 _Saturday, November 13_  
 _Is anything troubling you? Or are you ill? If there is anything I can help you with, let me know. We can talk about anything over drinks._

Drinks, drinks, always drinks. Severus sighed. If he didn't know any better he would have assumed the poor girl was an alcoholic.  
Reluctantly, Severus opened the letter he had received a week ago and still hadn't read.

 _Saturday, November 20_  
 _I am really worried now. Aragorn (I mean your owl) is spending so much time with me lately. Meet me for drinks and tell me what's wrong._

Severus scoffed. So that's where the owl was spending its time. Traitor!  
Deciding he had enough, Severus threw the letters back on his desk, ignoring that the latest one from today fell on the floor. It didn't matter. None of this mattered. Not with Sirius Black on the run and the whole Wizarding world in danger. His life was troubled enough, so why should he bother over some letters from a former student? He had better things to do than pondering about what could or could not have been if she hadn't been his student and he hadn't been her teacher – he had a desk to clean.

About five hours later the desk and every item on it in a 20 inch radius was still soaked with Slytherin green ink. The essays were beyond saving grace. No spell in the world would fix them. The only thing that consoled him was the certainty that he had not spent too much time already on grading these essays, but he could already hear Potter's silent curse, Weasley moan and Granger's excited shriek (they would of course lose points for any silly noises they made), when he would announce to his third year class that they had to do their essays all over again.  
With a sigh, Severus tossed his wand on the desk and gave up. So his desk had an ink stain, so what? It was still a good desk. Soiled, but not completely ruined. And still it bothered him.  
A silent knock at the door tore Severus from his musings. A visitor? Today? Who might possess the insolence of disturbing him on a Saturday afternoon? A student? A colleague? Dumbledore?  
With a sigh Severus strode to the door, but when he opened it his mood darkened.  
"Lupin."  
"Good afternoon, Severus."  
"No, it is not a good afternoon, Lupin," Severus contradicted. "If it was a good afternoon, you wouldn't be here."  
"You are in a particular grumpy mood today," Lupin remarked. "I noticed so at breakfast. Is anything troubling you?"  
"Yes, you are troubling me."  
Lupin smiled, mildly.  
"I am so sorry that I am such a burden to you, but as I said at breakfast, I do have a problem."  
"And as I said at breakfast," Severus replied. "How does that concern me?"  
"May I come in please," Lupin suggested. "Or do you wish the whole school to hear?"  
Severus exhaled deeply, then he stepped aside and allowed Lupin to enter.  
"So, this is how you live …" Lupin said thoughtfully as he entered Severus sitting room. "I haven't expected your private quarters to be so …"  
"So what?"  
"So comfortable."  
"I am glad that you like it," Severus answered, sarcastically. "Won't you sit down, have some tea, take a biscuit …"  
"Oh, no thanks," Lupin replied, obviously taking the offer seriously. "I don't wish to explore your hospitality. I am grateful that you even let me in."  
Severus sighed.  
"Shut up, Lupin," he said, tiredly. "No need to be pleasant. Just tell me what you want."  
Lupin nodded.  
"This is about the Wolfsbane Potion," he began, pacing through the room. "As you know there is a full moon in two days …"  
"Yes, I know," Severus interrupted. "Don't worry about it. Your potion will be ready in time."  
Lupin came to a halt in front of Severus' desk, where he turned to face Severus and smiled.  
"Thank you so much," he said, warmly. "You cannot imagine how grateful I am that you brew this potion for me."  
"Save your breath, Lupin, I am not doing it for you," Severus snapped. "Dumbledore forced me, so you would be able to become a teacher here – a teacher for a job that I wanted myself for ages. Now, if you want to thank somebody, thank Dumbledore, not me."  
"I already did," Lupin admitted. "But I wanted to thank you, too. Is that a crime?"  
"I consider it a crime to be disturbed on a Saturday afternoon, when I want to have some peace and quiet."  
"I am sorry."  
"Yes, you said that before and you thanked me," Severus replied. "Are you done now?"  
Lupin nodded.  
"Then you might as well leave," Severus suggested.  
Lupin lowered his head.  
"Severus, I …"  
"Go," Severus interrupted, pointing at the door. "Now."  
Lupin let out a sigh, then he moved to walk to the door, but suddenly he stopped.  
"What is that?" he asked, frowning.  
Quickly, he bent down to pick up what seemed to be a piece of parchment and too late Severus realized what it really was.  
"It's the letter you received this morning at breakfast," Lupin said, astonishment in his voice. "It is still sealed."  
"So?" Severus grunted, uncomfortably.  
"You haven't read it yet?"  
"Obviously."  
"Why?"  
"Because I already know what it says," Severus answered. "There is a bunch of others. I receive letters from the sender every week on Saturday."  
"And who is the sender?"  
"A former student," Severus replied, reluctantly. "Slytherin, averagely smart, graduated last June."  
Lupin's eyes widened.  
"You got yourself a girlfriend!" he gasped.  
"No, she is not my girlfriend," Severus insisted. "She is writing to me, that's all."  
"What is she writing, then?" Lupin asked, his voice sounding eager.  
"The usual stuff," Severus said, evasively.  
"And what's the usual stuff?"  
Severus rolled his eyes.  
"If you are so interested in a bunch of letters, be my guest," he replied. "Go on! Read them!"  
Severus nodded at the heap of paper on his desk, but he was astonished when Lupin practically jumped at the invitation and began reading the letters, carefully, one by one. It took him a while, but when he had finally finished he looked at Severus in a way that made him feel quite nervous.  
"This girl …" Lupin began, after a long pause. "Well, she is not just writing to you, Severus."  
He smiled broadly.  
"She is flirting with you," he established and to Severus' surprise there was no spite in his voice.  
Severus shook his head.  
"No, she is flirting *at* me," he corrected. "I never respond."  
Lupin gasped.  
"You what?"  
"I never respond."  
"But you respond to everything," Lupin pointed out. "You always want to have the last word! And still you don't answer these letters?"  
"No."  
"Why not?" Lupin demanded. "Is the girl not pretty enough?"  
Severus shrugged.  
"Not really, no."  
"Is she too dim-witted for your brilliant mind?"  
Severus shrugged again.  
"Well, judging from her style of writing she appears to be quite clever," Lupin said, glancing at the letters in his hand. "And funny."  
"So?"  
"I think you could use some 'funny' in your life, Severus."  
"Do I?" Severus replied. "And why is that?"  
Lupin chuckled.  
"That's a good joke, Severus."  
"I was not joking, Lupin, I was asking a question."  
"Oh, come on, Severus," Lupin said, impatiently. "You know perfectly well what I mean. You are so serious. You always have been. You really need someone, who cheers you up a bit and this girl …"  
He nodded at the letters.  
"She seems to be just the right type for you."  
Severus folded his arms before his chest.  
"You appear to be quite an expert in this area," he said, mockingly. "Tell me, Lupin, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?"  
Lupin blushed and lowered his head.  
"I thought so," Severus established with a superior smile.  
There was a short silence.  
"If I received such lovely letters, I would answer them," Lupin then said, silently.  
"Well, answer her, then," Severus suggested. "If you are so keen on that girl!"  
"But she doesn't want me, does she?" Lupin added for consideration. "She wants you."  
"She doesn't want me!" Severus insisted.  
Lupin threw out a laugh.  
"'There is still room in the cottage.'? 'I imagine you kiss sooo much better!'? 'Your presence would be my greatest present.'?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows. "Of course she wants you. I dare say she is in love with you."  
"If she really was, then only because she doesn't know me," Severus argued. "If she knew, who I really was, she would run as fast as her feet would carry her."  
"How can you be so sure?" Lupin asked. "You need to give this girl a chance or one day you will be sitting here in your dungeons, old and grey and all by yourself, and regret that you missed the only chance you may possibly have."  
"With a student?" Severus snarled.  
"A *former* student!" Lupin improved.  
"Who is now working in an apothecary?"  
"Who now *owns* an apothecary!"  
Severus scoffed.  
"Excuse me, Lupin, but that just won't do," he declared. "I am 33 year of age and she is barely over 20!"  
"So?"  
"So I am a grown man and she is just a child," Severus insisted.  
"Age gaps happen all the time …"  
"Not with me they don't," Severus said, dignified. "I have certain standards, you know."  
"Ah, standards, yes, of course," Lupin said with a quiet chuckle. "Well, I certainly hope they will feed you your soup and wipe off the drool from your mouth when you are 90 and too feeble to do it yourself."  
Severus pursed his lips. As much as he hated it – he knew that Lupin was right. Severus was the last person who should be picky when it came to choosing a partner, seeing that girls weren't exactly throwing themselves at him. Not that he wanted them to, but every now and then he had wondered what it might be like to have a certain someone to share his lonely hours with. He had his owl, but the bird was just a pet, a companion at best, but first and foremost a message carrier, who delivered him his mail.  
Severus sighed. If he was completely honest with himself he had to admit that he actually enjoyed receiving letters every Saturday and part of him was even looking forward to it – even though they came from a former student who now owned an apothecary and who was flirting with him …  
"What's her name?" Lupin suddenly asked, softly.  
Severus hesitated.  
"Cathy," he eventually answered. "Cathy Hamilton."  
Lupin smiled.  
"I am really relieved that you remember her name."  
"Why shouldn't I?"  
"For the same reason why you don't name your owl," Lupin replied, carefully putting the letters back on the desk as if they were most precious. "You are afraid of commitment. Naming your pet creates a bond, so does calling someone by her first name."  
Severus frowned.  
"What are you trying to tell me … Lupin?"  
Lupin smiled, broadly.  
"I think I will leave that to your own deduction," he decided. "I hope you make the right decision. Have a good afternoon."  
With that he walked to the door and before Severus could demand him to stay and explain his mysterious suggestion Lupin was gone.

For a long time Severus had been sitting at his desk, his eyes staring at the heap of letters in front of him. He hated to admit it, but in one other point Lupin was also right: He was afraid of commitment. For so many years he had concentrated on other things, his potions and his work, that he never had the time to think about anything else. He had a task to fulfil and this task left no room for a romantic attachment – or any attachment at all. The owl was as much responsibility as he could handle at the moment.  
Still, Severus couldn't deny that he did feel indeed flattered when he received the first letter from this girl, realizing that he had been singled out among all teachers of Hogwarts, who likewise ensured her graduation. And did he not feel a certain pride when he came to know that it was his education in particular that provided this girl a bright future?  
Was he not tempted when she suggested him to accompany her on a holiday trip? Did he not feel a little jealous when he learned that the girl was snogging someone else's face off? And did he not wish for a second that it could have been him she was spending her time with?  
Did he not consider visiting her when she mentioned her new position in the apothecary in Hogsmeade? Did he not applaud her courage to take over the business, taking on the risk of losing a fortune if she should fail? And did he not wonder once in a while how she was doing?  
Did he not feel sad as well when the new term started and her face that he had grown accustomed to ever since the Valentine incident was missing in class? And did he not visit Hogsmeade more often for the off chance of running into her?  
Did he not get ready to attend her birthday party, but chickened out at the last moment? And did it not bug him that he missed his chance to talk to her again?  
Did he not pause in front of her apothecary every time he went to Hogsmeade just to catch a glimpse of her? And did he not envy his owl because the bird was not afraid to visit her on a regular basis?  
Severus threw a humourless laugh. Obviously, the owl was much braver than he was. Or was it just a plain stupid bird? After all, there was a dangerous prisoner of Azkaban on the run and dementors were stationed everywhere. It had become colder these past couple of months and the hopelessness and despair that the cold had brought with it was preying on Severus' mind. But what was he to do?  
Severus sighed. Maybe when Sirius Black was captured again he would be able to think about something else and write her back. There was enough time left – what did yet another month matter?  
Absentmindedly, Severus picked up the sealed letter from this morning, turned it twice in his hand before he opened it and leaned back in his chair to read it.

Saturday, November 27  
Dear Professor Snape,  
I never meant to say this, but since I have decided that this is my last letter to you, I might as well do: I think I am in love with you and I think you have noticed this a long time ago. But it doesn't matter, really, does it, because, obviously, you are not interested and that's why you don't respond. So I will stop bugging you, once and for all.  
Rest assured that you are the person I care about most in the world, I always have and I always will, and I truly wish you a happy life, even though I won't be part of it.  
Forever (not) yours,  
Cathy Hamilton

Blankly, Severus stared at the words he had just read. This was not a flirty letter – far from it. This was a good-bye note. No adjectives, no embellishments – just a plain smack-in-the-face, end-of-story letter. Or a wake-up call!  
Severus sat up in alarm. Apparently there was not enough time left. Apparently, every day mattered now. Every hour, every minute mattered!  
Quickly, he took a new pot of Slytherin green ink from his drawer, which he opened carefully, so he wouldn't stain his fingers, before he dipped his quill into the ink and wrote his reply.  
It was short. Only two sentences. Seven words in whole.  
"I am not thirsty," he scribbled. "Let's have drinks."  
Severus smiled to himself. There was no need to write more. No place, no time. They would find each other, somehow.  
Thoughtfully, Severus folded the piece of parchment and went into his bedroom. His owl was sitting on its perch, its head beneath the feathers, fast asleep.  
"Alright," Severus mumbled. "It's time to set things in order."  
He cleared his throat.  
"Aragorn," he then addressed the owl, who instantly looked up and blinked at Severus in surprise. "I have a letter for you to deliver to that girl you are staying at so often lately."  
"Hoo?" Aragorn enquired, innocently.  
Severus grinned.  
"You know who," he replied, opening the window. "No pun intended."  
Aragorn didn't move, but stared at Severus as if he was waiting for something.  
Severus chuckled.  
"So, you actually want me to say it, yes?"  
"Hoo," Aragorn answered.  
"Cathy," Severus gave in. "This letter is for Cathy."  
How good it felt to speak her name …  
"There," Severus added. "I said it! Satisfied?"  
"Hoo!"  
With that Aragorn ruffled his feathers, before he flew over to Severus and landed swiftly on his shoulder to rub his head against Severus' ear.  
"You will make sure she gets this, won't you?" Severus asked, softly. "I don't have to stress how important this is, do I?"  
"Hoo," Aragorn confirmed, eagerly, then he grabbed the letter with his beak and sailed out of the window.  
For another minute Severus looked after him until the tiny dot in the darkening sky had vanished, then he closed the window and took a deep breath.  
It was time to get ready for his first date.


End file.
